"I wasn't expected, I was selected."

Adoption...... 

  "I grew in my mommy's heart, not in her tummy." Today, I am thankful for my birth mother who made the decision to give me life 26 years ago. I'm also thankful for my mom, whose heart I grew in. She is by far the best thing that could have ever happened to me. She gave me a stable home and instilled in me a love for God, even at a young age. 

   Being pregnant with my own little girl has made me even more thankful of my birth mother's decision. Just to think that she endured the possible sickness that has plagued me, the back pain, the acne infested skin of a teenager, the mood swings, the inability to paint your own toe nails after a certain point (by the way, I have officially reached that point:), and the constant observations of acquaintances who feel the need to comment about your weight gain (yes, I know I'm getting big as a barn...no, I don't need you to point that fact out to me by saying things such as: 1. Are you sure you're not carrying twins? 2. Wow, you sure are looking healthy. 3. Man, you have really blossomed out there. And....the list goes on and on. It bothered me at first, now I just find it amusing.) Anyways, my birth mom endured all of this plus labor, and then placed me in someone else's arms, entrusting them to take better care of me than she could. What an act of love! She could have ended the pregnancy early and not had to endure the "pregnancy woes", yet she chose life, and in so doing, gave me a great gift..... LIFE. The chance to enjoy childhood, marry my best friend, be a mother myself, and whatever else my great God has in store for me.

    I am reminded of how Hannah in the bible prayed and prayed for a child and how the Lord granted her Samuel. How excited she must have been! She loved Samuel and God so much that she kept her promise and gave Samuel over to God. Again, what an act of love!

  Words cannot express the love I already feel in my heart for our sweet little girl. I can't wait to hold her for the first time, sing her to sleep, and watch her grow. I feel so blessed that God has given Jared and I this precious gift. There is a longing deep within me to one day adopt a child of my own. I pray every day for our sweet little "Roo" and for our future children, if God sees fit. For whether they grow in my heart or my tummy, I will love them just the same. 

    As I close, take a look at what the bible has to say about adoption: 

 "A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families , he leads forth the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun - scorched land." Psalm 68:5-6

"But when the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under law, to redeem those under law, that we might receive the full rights of sons. Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out,"Abba, Father." So you are no longer a slave, but a son: and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir." Galatians 4:4-7

"For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, "Abba, Father." The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs - heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together." Romans 8:14-17

  Please say a special prayer tonight for the children in the world who are in foster homes and haven't yet been adopted by their "forever family". Also, please pray for me. Pray that God molds me into a Godly mother for our little " Roo" and that if it is God's will, we may one day be able to adopt a little Roo Jr:)

Hello, my name is.........

     I always assumed naming your child would be an easy enough task....not so. Every time I think I may like a particular name, I change my mind. I keep telling myself, this name is going to stick with our daughter for the rest of her life. What if she doesn't like it? What if she is ashamed to wear one of those stickers one day on her shirt that so famously reads: "Hello, my name is ________." 

    One of the problems is that my husband and I are so different. He likes traditional names. You know, like, Mary or Elizabeth or something normal. I, on the other hand, pride myself in being unique. With a maiden name like "Kokotkiewicz" you get used to being different. There is one and ONLY one of you. I like names such as Magdalene, Isla, and Lila. Jared says "Isla" looks like is-la. Obviously, he has never learned to pronounce island (eye - land). Just kidding, Jared:) He wants people to be able to spell and pronounce the name correctly. Which makes sense, except that more people spell my married name "Wilber" wrong now (insert WilbUr) than they ever did when it was Kokotkiewicz. 

  Before we knew the gender of our sweet, little Roo, Jared always said if it was a boy he wanted to name him "Maynard". There was a man that Jared and his brother looked up to in the church long ago, whose name was Maynard Maguire. It is unique! In fact, it is the most unique name Jared has liked...period. Maynard Wilber might be okay. If we knew we were going to have a future farmer in our midst......and if we were having a boy. Thank Heaven for little girls:)

     People keep asking me what our daughter's name is. To which I respond, "we haven't decided yet." Apparently, people translate this to mean that we know, we just want to keep it a secret for some reason. No, we really don't know and I'm not sure when we will decide. Maybe when I go into labor, I will have an epiphany. We agree on one name so far....... "Hope", but I think this will be a middle name. Other top choices include: McKinley, Meredith, and quite possibly Maynard. Just kidding! We do seem to be stuck on the "M's" though. For now, she will continue to be known as " Hello, my name is Roo."

Hold your Horses!!

Patience.....

     Is a virtue. These are the words my husband often reminds me of. He has the patience of Job. I, on the other hand, have the patience of a two year old. My biggest inspiration, Pete Parker, knows what patience is. When I ask him what patience is, his reply is always simple, yet truthful "wait." Why is waiting so hard? I am reminded of an excerpt from one of my favorite children's books when I think about waiting. The excerpt is as follows: 

" You can get so confused that you'll start in to race down long wiggled roads at break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed I fear, toward a most useless place. The Waiting Place.....for people just waiting. Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or a No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting. Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting." ( taken from "Oh, the Places You'll Go! By Dr. Seuss). Isn't that why fast food, drive ins, and delivery services are so popular? Most people don't like to wait. So, we zip through the line at Chick- Fil- A and if we incidentally have to pull over in one of the marked spots while they finish preparing our meal *gasp* we get anxious and impatient. Oh what a fast paced world we live in!!

   My prayer for myself, is that God increases my patience. I pray for more patience with my husband, my family, and for my sweet daughter as I watch her grow and learn. I need to "wait" and know that God is in control of everything, both big and small. Will I continue to plan ahead for, well, everything? Probably, that is just my nature. However, I don't want to miss out on a single moment due to lack of patience. I hope to feel God's peace in my daily life, and know that the load of laundry I felt needed to be done YESTERDAY, will indeed wait until tomorrow so that I can spend time in God's word today. Moreover, the long list of to - do's including cleaning out the fridge and reorganizing the pantry will still be around for me to do later, so I can spend time with my family today. 

   In closing, I reflect on the following bible verses as a reminder to me of the importance of patience.

" Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." Psalm 27:14

" But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." 2 Peter 3: 8-9

" But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

" But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, PATIENCE, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. Against such things there is no law." Galatians 5: 22-23

Please be patient with me, God isn't finished with me yet:)